Katy slept in again on Saturday and would have slept even later, except that Todd called her around eleven o’clock . She was glad to hear from him, and was expecting him to ask her out for the evening. He didn’t. He had a better offer.
Todd said, “I know that you wanted to be alone today, and I respect that. I also know that sometimes, in the course of your job, you come into contact with some situations that make life seem almost unbearable.”
“You’re right.”
Todd understood, “My job is like that, too. Sometimes, I am absolutely stunned by some of the things that I see. And I have trouble dealing with it. When I have those kinds of days, I just want to be alone. I don’t feel like facing anyone. But one thing that I have learned from my job is that when I feel like I want to be alone, that is the time when I really shouldn’t be.”
Katy thought about the statement for a second and said warmly, “So, doc, what’s your remedy?”
Todd took the question as an opening, “Well, I think that it would be good if you were not alone. But I also think that you probably aren’t in the mood to go out anywhere. And I know that when I’m in that mood, I don’t really feel like talking. I thought that I could come over there, and not talk.”
Katy wondered if this was a slick line to get into her bed. It seemed like a typical kind of man line. She liked Todd, and she felt that if it was a line, she could forgive that. But she wasn’t in the mood for sex right now. She decided to test him, “So, you’re coming over, but we aren’t going to talk. I guess that we’ll just spend the afternoon sitting around and staring at each other?”
“Well, no. I was thinking that maybe I could pick up lunch and rent a couple of movies.” Katy liked the sound of that. She felt that if Todd was using her predicament to get into her bed, he would have tried to leave things a little more open ended. She could imagine a lesser man saying Well, let’s just see what happens.
“Sounds like a good plan,” Katy replied.
Todd was encouraged, “Anything in particular that you would like to see?”
“You choose.” Katy felt sure that she could trust him not to come over with an armful of Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. That was what Alan would have done in this situation. Katy didn’t like Van Damme movies, nor was she a big fan of action flicks. More importantly, they certainly wouldn’t satisfy her need to pamper herself.
After they rang off, Katy took a quick shower and got dressed in some comfortable clothes. She figured that she knew Todd well enough that he could see her in sweats and a tee shirt. She called her mother and caught her up on how her week had been, as well as her plans for the day. Her mother sounded very impressed with Todd’s sensitivity. Katy was pleased that her mother was pleased.
When Todd arrived, Katy was shocked to realize how much she had missed him. She was amazed at her internally stirring just the sight of him. It warmed her heart and made her feel happy. Not that he was all decked out. He had dressed down for the occasion, which Katy felt wholly appropriate. She was pleased that he looked as comfortable as she was. She let him in, and he kissed her cheek gently and softly, but the kiss lingered for a few extra seconds on her cheek. It was just long enough for her pulse to quicken at the closeness of the moment.
Todd brought her a big salad. It was a chicken Caesar salad from Romero’s, a local upscale restaurant. Katy was pleased. That salad was often her choice when she ate at Romero’s. Todd got the same thing for himself. She checked out his movie choices and was amazed. He had chosen exactly the type of films that she would have chosen. He got “The Way We Were” and “Say Anything”. If she hadn’t have known that he had sisters, she would know it now. These were the kinds of movies that women would pick to cheer themselves up. Katy was glad that Todd had sisters, it gave him some insight into the female psyche.
They sat on the couch in the living room, with their salads in their laps. It was a less than graceful way to eat their lunch, but neither of them seemed to care. There was little discussion. The only thing that they talked about was some small talk about the quality of the food, of which they were both satisfied, and which movie to watch first. They decided to watch the films in chronological order. They would start with “The Way We Were” first. They didn’t really talk about their opinions of the film, but they both admitted that they’d each seen it more than once. Neither admitted that it was one of their favorite films, but that was yet another thing that the two had in common.
After the salads, Katy popped the movie into the DVD player, and they started to watch it. Todd put his arm around Katy tentatively. He seemed concerned about where the boundaries were today, given Katy’s frame of mind. Katy leaned into him, and snuggled comfortably against him. Todd relaxed at the action, recognizing it as a silent acknowledgement that his affections were welcome. The couple sighed deeply in unison and became engrossed in the film.
Katy was surprised to notice that Todd was tearful in certain parts of the film. He obviously connected with the characters as much as she did. He was very unsettled after the first “love scene” of the film, just as she was. It always bothered her that Streisand’s character had been willing to have sex with Redford ’s character in such a fashion. She always felt that Katie was a strong woman, and that she should have more respect for herself than to settle for a drunken romp, regardless of how in love she was. She was impressed by Todd’s reaction to the end of the film. He responded like Katy and her girlfriends did when the character Katie brushed Hubbell’s hair from his eyes at their final meeting in the film. He wept just as openly as she did. There were times in the past when she would have seen this as a sign of weakness in a man, but with Todd, it seemed right and ok. She was touched by his sensitivity, and she felt that he really “got” the movie. She felt very close to him.
Watching “Say Anything” with Todd was an exciting experience. He was just as into the film as she was. She knew that most men could figure out that women liked “The Way We Were”, but she found it a sign of a true understanding of women that he recognized the romance of “Say Anything”. He laughed appropriately, and sweetly, at Lloyd’s speech about not wanting to make or sell anything. He seemed to really connect with the characters, and to get how touching the film really was. He cried just as hard as she did when Lloyd stood out in the street with the boom box over his head. She’d finally found a man that was very sensitive, without seeming weak or effeminate. It was like striking oil in your own back yard.
After watching both films, they sat on the couch for a while, snuggled in each other’s arms, and watched television. Conversation was still at a minimum, and Katy was glad for that. She didn’t think that she could enter a discussion without bringing up her support group meetings. She really didn’t feel like talking, or thinking, about them at all. They just relaxed, snuggled, and watched whatever was on. The movies had distracted her from thinking about her bad week, but she was now able to start thinking about it again without being overwhelmed. She thought about her meetings, and was able to process the emotions that those meetings had stirred in her. The quiet time spent in Todd’s arms allowed her to start putting her thoughts where they belonged. Her mind began the long process of categorizing and storing the information. The filing cabinets in her mind were being filled with the negativity, and it was being diffused one thought at a time. Todd was right. It was helpful not to be alone right now. What he didn’t realize was that is was even more helpful being with him.
At dinnertime, Katy was in a good enough mood to want to go out for dinner. Todd agreed, and they went to The Dock for a romantic seafood dinner. While there, Todd carried the conversation, understanding that Katy didn’t have anything pleasant to discuss this week. He talked about his family, and Katy got to know more about his sisters, as well as the fact that Todd’s parents were close, and had a strong marriage.
Katy was envious, her parents’ marriage had never been happy. They had both loved her very well, but they had stopped loving each other when she was very young. Her father had taken to drinking, and when he drank, the arguments were horrendous. As a child, she had often wished that she were someone else, somewhere else. She loved both of her parents equally, but until her late teens, she had blamed her father, and his drinking, for the marriage’s break up. She eventually came to terms with the divorce, and had forgiven her father. She had developed a strong relationship with him, but it had been short lived, as he had died of a massive heart attack while she was in college. She had often wished that she had forgiven him sooner, so that they could have had more time together before he passed, but it was water under the bridge, and hindsight was always twenty-twenty.
She discussed this with Todd, who was both surprised and pleased that she had decided to open up to him during this “day of quiet”. He understood her anger and guilt over the loss of her father, and was supportive. She wondered fleetingly if there was anything that she could do that he would not be supportive about. He was a gentle man, and very empathetic. She admired this about him, but also found it perplexing. She had learned through her job how to listen to patient’s opinions and actions without passing judgement, that was just a part of the job. She wondered if it was much the same for police officers. She asked Todd about it.
“Yes. I have consistently been amazed since I became a cop about the different lifestyles that I have come into contact with. The main thing that you learn, have to learn if you want to be effective in the job, is tolerance. You start to see the world from another perspective when you deal with people from all walks of life on a regular basis.” Todd became introspective, “Here’s an example. I was always a bit homophobic growing up. I really had no contact with homosexuals, and thought them to be freaks. Especially being a man. One of the frequent cut-downs growing up is accusing someone of being gay. In high school, it is like the worst offense a man could commit. So, when you really want to insult someone, you accuse them of being gay.”
Katy shook her head, “Ah, yes, high school. I remember it well.”
He smiled, “In college, I did the whole frat boy thing. I was involved in sports. I got involved in a lot of activities. I just was intolerant of the whole gay thing. I knew that there were groups on campus for gay students, I just didn’t want to know about them. I was never one of those guys who abused others, but I was just happier pretending that they didn’t exist.”
“So, you weren’t a gay-basher or anything like that.”
“No,” Todd replied, much to Katy’s relief, “So, I went through my whole life avoiding and fearing homosexuals. Then, when I become a cop, I have occasion to meet some homosexuals, male and female. I even have one man, a transvestite named Candi, who becomes a key player on a case. A missing child case. He says that he knows a man who he thinks has taken the child. So, this transvestite, potentially the scariest of all homosexuals to a homophobe, turns out to be a witness in my case. For him, turning in the perpetrator is a dangerous endeavor. She provides information in the case, at her own peril. She helps me to find the child, alive and well. What I learned is that homosexuals are some of the most civic-minded citizens in this town.”
“Was Candi harmed?”
“No, luckily. I would never have been able to forgive myself if she was,” Todd smiled. Katy noticed that during Todd’s story, he had started out referring to Candi as “him”, and ended by referring to Candi as “her”. Katy was impressed that he referred to Candi as a she, it showed a level of tolerance and understanding that most people just didn’t have. “Candi was instrumental to that case, and I see her out every once in a while. When I do, I buy her a drink. Ten years ago, I would have been afraid to. I would have been afraid that she would think that I was hitting on her. I would have been afraid that other patrons in the bar would think that I was gay. Now, I realize that I don’t really care what others think. Candi is a good person. She deserves a free fuzzy navel now and again.”
Katy listened to him closely. There was a time that she would have wondered about him. She hadn’t wondered for a while. She knew that Todd was straight, and she was very proud that he was comfortable enough in his sexuality not to judge Candi. “My job is much the same,” Katy added, “You meet so many people from so many walks of life. And all of them have different belief systems about sexuality and morality. You learn, over time, not to judge the lives of others. I guess that our careers have more in common than I’d thought.”
The young couple smiled at each other over their lobster dinners. They were pleased to find yet another thing that they had in common. They decided to talk about some things that they didn’t have in common. Todd read only non-fiction, Katy primarily fiction. Todd loved the beach, Katy hated it. They discussed that for a while. Todd could not imagine anyone hating the beach. He talked about how he loved how small the ocean made him feel. “When you sit next to the ocean, you realize how many millions of creatures are in that vast space, and suddenly your problems seem miniscule in the grand scheme of things.” Todd talked about the feeling of the sun on your skin. He loved the smell of the ocean. He loved the way the hot sand felt under his feet.
Katy countered, “When I sit next to the ocean, I realize how many millions of creatures are in that vast space, peeing in it. Basically, it’s like swimming in a big toilet. And the smell of that big toilet disgusts me, it had the aroma of a big toilet with millions of decaying carcasses in it.” She made a face. “I don’t mind the sun on my skin, but no matter how much sunscreen I use, I still get burned. And the sand. People talk about how romantic it is to make love on the beach. Yeah, if your idea of romance is picking sand out of your crack for a week.”
Todd laughed at her description of the beach. It was interesting how two different perspectives on the same thing could be so drastically different. Katy liked the fact that she didn’t have to pretend to share his opinion. He seemed just as happy that they disagreed as he would have been if they’d agreed. Todd liked the open discussion, he wasn’t concerned about forcing her to share his opinion. It was the way that Katy had always felt about disagreeing. The most important part was open discussion. She found this quality in Todd to be quite the turn on. She was excited by debate, and something about debate with Todd seemed very sexy.
At some point during dinner, Katy started to wonder when Todd would get tired of this long date, and decided to call it a night. She was pleasantly surprised when he turned to her and suggested that they go out again and play some more bingo. “Is the carnival still going on?” Katy asked.
Todd laughed, “I think so, but I was thinking that instead of going to the carnival, we could go somewhere just for the sole purpose of playing bingo. The Elks have bingo every Saturday night.”
“I find it a little bit weird that you know that. Are you some kind of secret bingo fan?”
“Well, I wasn’t, until we played it at the carnival,” Todd smiled, “But it was something that we both seemed to get into, so I thought that it might be good to know where we could go if we ever wanted to play again.”
Katy was flattered. She agreed to go. Todd suggested that they call the girls and invite them. Katy stated that she didn’t think that it was really their cup of tea, but Todd said that he could only imagine how funny it would be to see Claudette and Jasmine, the world two most competitive people competing at bingo with sixty elderly ladies. Katy was amused by the idea as well. Todd finished the suggestion with, “Besides, I feel bad. This is usually your one of your nights to spend with them. I know that they are being generous when they let me come along. I don’t want to be disrespectful to them by taking you away from them. I want to be fair.” Katy was impressed with Todd’s thoughtfulness about the dynamic of friends versus lovers. She agreed to invite them, and was shocked when they not only agreed, but sounded excited about coming.
And suddenly, bingo night was born.
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Christy Parker is the author of three blogs: Ruminations from and Unkempt Mind, Learn to Crochet - In Minutes a Day, and You Be the Editor.
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